peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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