If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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