Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
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3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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