There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
