So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
