I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
