I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
