This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
