I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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