But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
