I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
