dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize