bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize