This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
