Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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