if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
