Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
