If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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