when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
