porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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