quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
