Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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