it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
