in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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