Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
