For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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