Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
