Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
