I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
