when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
