I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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