normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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