Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
