Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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