My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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