pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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