I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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