it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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