I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
