I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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