My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
