Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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