I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
did you just send me my own nude
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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