weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm at about main and main street
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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