I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
