you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Buhtt sex?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
