shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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