the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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