used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
