I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They took my balls.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
