Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
