i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
