I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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