I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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