So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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