In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
