dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
