Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
