News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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