My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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