she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
