She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
