You're my little dorito
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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