Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
